GK: It's our last show of 2015 and I don't feel like singing Auld Lang Syne because I don't feel nostalgic, I feel ambitious. The best is yet to be, people. We can do better. There's a whole big world out there. Get out of your little comfortable corner and start living, people. You were meant to be here. This is your moment. If you believe it, you can achieve it.
CHOIR:
Off we go into the wild blue yonder,
Climbing high into the sun;
Here they come zooming to meet our thunder,
At 'em boys, Give 'er the gun! (Give 'er the gun now!)
Down we dive, spouting our flame from under,
Off with one heckuva roar!
We live in fame or go down in flame.
Hey! Nothing'll stop the U.S. Air Force!
GK: Life is short. We've got to live it while we can. You may be on the verge of success. Don't quit on the one-yard line. If you're not out to win, why play? The way to get something done is to do it. Other people may have more talent, but nobody can work harder than you unless you give up. It's not whether you get knocked down, it's whether you get up. Learn from your defeat and be a winner. It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
GK: But you have to believe, 100%. Your biggest opponent is yourself. You know what your problem is? It's irony. Irony is for losers. Irony makes fun of success. Satire tears people down. Life is no joke. Life is serious. You people have been kidding around long enough. I want you to get out there and win. Do you hear me?
CHOIR:
Hail! to the victors valiant
Hail! to the conqu'ring heroes
Hail! Hail! to Michigan
the leaders and best
Hail! to the victors valiant
Hail! to the conqu'ring heroes
Hail! Hail! to Michigan,
the champions of the West!
GK: We're Midwesterners and we suffer from a sense of inferiority. Wisconsin, for example. Cheeseheads. Their mascot is a badger. Their governor ran for president and had good ratings until he opened his mouth. Came back and took revenge on the University and cut their budget. The one really great thing about Wisconsin, the University, and he's trying to turn it into a vo-tech. But even if you're from Wisconsin, you can still be a winner. You can be great.
CHOIR:
On Wisconsin, On Wisconsin, plunge right through that line
Run the ball clear down the field boys, touchdown sure this time
U-Rah-Rah
On Wisconsin, On Wisconsin, Fight on for her fame
Fight, Badgers, fight, fight, fight, we'll win this game.
GK: Minnesota has its own problems. A state of wishy-washy liberals who every time our kids actually pick up their dirty clothes we say, Good job, Kevin. Good job, Lindsay. We were brought up to be good losers so we find a way to lose. We're the state that invented the indoor shopping mall, we're the state of hotdish, ice-fishing, turkeys. And yet I believe we can achieve excellence. This radio show has been coasting for 42 years, just getting by ---- I promise you that in 2016 we will become the best live radio variety show on Saturday night. That's my promise to you. For a lot of you, this show is a shameful habit, but we are going to make you proud to be a listener.
CHOIR:
Minnesota hats off to thee
To your colors true we shall ever be
Firm and strong united are we
Rah rah rah for ski-u-mah Rah Rah Rah Rah
Rah for the U of M