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A Prairie Home Companion Segment 17 for May 17, 2014
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GK: Our sound effects man Mr. Fred Newman of

LaGrange, Georgia, with us today. We do the show in

Georgia so that Fred's extended family can come. How

many here believe you may be related to Fred?

Fred is generally acknowledged as one of the best sound

effects men in radio today.

FN: Generally acknowledged? GENERALLY?

GK: Certainly right up there at or near the top......

FN: GENERALLY acknowledged?

GK: Fred's pickup and 60-foot trailer are on exhibit by the

stage door, 50 cents admission, 25 cents for children under

12, The trailer includes a Jacuzzi (SFX), a Stairmaster

(SFX), a cage for Fred's jaguar Jasper (SNARL), a

Mixmaster for mixing drinks (SFX), a ping-pong table

(SFX), a revolving bed (SFX) that also vibrates (SFX), a

shoe buffer (SFX), and a set of automated bagpipes (SFX)

And of course an espresso machine (SFX), a Southern

espresso machine (SFX). And a flat-screen TV for him to

watch NASCAR races on (SFX), and a wide selection of

luxury hair products (SFX).

Fred deserves the best because he is among the best of the

older sound effects men in the business-

FN: AMONG THE BEST????

GK: If we want to do World War I on the show, Fred can

do it. (CANNONS, HORSES. SHOUTS. PLANE

APPROACHING, MACHINE GUN. CANNONS. HORSE

WHINNIES.)

He can do cars going off cliffs (SFX) and laser swords

(SFX), he can do surf (SFX), houseflies (SFX), singing

ducks (SFX), a man with a cold blowing his nose (SFX),

musical chainsaws (SFX), he can do demented dairy cows

(SFX) and talking horses (SFX), he can play "Misty" with

an air wrench (SFX) or "In a Gadda da Vida" with his

armpits (SFX), and if you want to hear the Titanic sunk by

an iceberg in the north Atlantic--- Fred is your man. (SHIP

HORN, CRUNCH, CRIES, ALARM - "TO THE BOATS!

TO THE BOATS!" - ROCKET FLARES, "NEARER MY

GOD" ON BAGPIPE, CRIES OF ALARM, SHIP HORN,

SINKING, BUBBLES)

FN (SINGS):

I am the guy who does the sound effects

Boats and trains and major auto wrecks

I have five lovely homes and this is how:

Because I woof and I meow.